Power walking pains....and hopefully gains!

Wow, can't believe how long it has been since I last logged on. Where has that time gone? I can't believe we're almost 5 months into the year - and it's quite scary that my weekends are now all booked up until mid-September. Gosh!

Well, social life apart, I have been very much focusing on my training these last few months and have stepped up a gear these last 4 weeks. I used to love running so much, but I have come to terms with the fact that I am never going to be able to run again and I have finally come to terms with it. My time has been taken up with swimming, spinning and my power walking training. As I am not going to be able to do a running marathon, I have decided to do the next best thing - a power walk marathon. 26 miles of walking and stamina - with the added benefit of fund-raising for charity as well, so an added bonus. 

I've enjoyed getting back into the training again, but it is strange how walking bulks up your muscles whereas running slims them down - I can honestly say I have thighs of steel at the moment and not an inch of cellulite. But, I guess the best thing of all is knowing I am raising money for a really good cause. After some sad family news recently, it is even more personal and precious now knowing I am contributing towards research for Breast Cancer UK - even if it helps more people like my mum and helps save someones life, then I am happy in that knowledge and all the aches and pains seem trivial in comparison.

Unfortunately, with all these longer walks I am now doing my knee problem has flared up again - I even had to limp the last mile in total agony this morning to get back to Limehouse Station, but I feel like I have achieved something today. I have never walked that far before in my life. Even though I know I will not be the fastest person there, the fact that 5 months ago I could barely walk 3 miles before my knee would give way, I feel like I have already achieved a lot. As long as I can cross that finish line in a few weeks, with the slightest muster of a smile on my face, then I shall be content in the knowledge that I have contributed towards someone else's treatment and there hope of a future.

Euro no more?

It appears the Eurozone crisis has hit the headlines again - and with a hell of a lot of force this time. There is every chance that come January when we are packing away our tinsel and baubles, the rest of Europe may now also be hanging up their Euro's for good too.

Having not had the chance to read any news for the last two weeks, I feel like I have been left out of the loop a bit as to how drastic times are getting again. The thought of getting dragged into another recession - especially if it is going to be a whole lot worse than last time, really doesn't bare thinking about.

There's me blissfully unaware, planning my 2012 and hoping to be lodger free by April and now it's almost like being back in limbo again, with plans being put on hold until you know for definite what is going on with the economy. Working for a company that has such strong ties with Europe and depends on their income, it is a very scary thought that the Eurozone could shatter at anytime.

How bleak the future looks, I dare say it will be a very painful Christmas awaiting with bated breaths as to the outcome for many individuals. Here's hoping the banks can come up with a solution to stop this meltdown from happening, so we can actually get to enjoy our Turkey and stuffing without it leaving a bitter taste in our mouths. 

That time of year already....

I can't believe it's November tomorrow, another year is almost over. I remember being a little girl, hearing my mum saying, 'where does the time go...?' and being all of 8 years old, thinking what are you talking about??! But how true it is - where does the time go?

Life can be tough at the best of times, but this time of year feels worse and always makes me feel abit down and depressed. I wish I was a bear and could just hibernate somewhere, slink off for the winter and not emerge until the first signs of the leaves on the trees and that warm tingle in the air.

November is that time of year when you know it's almost over and the new year will soon be upon us and I start reminiscing about what I've achieved - or not - and start thinking of all the bad decisions I have made, wishing I could almost turn back the clock and try to right what's gone wrong.

I can't help but feel that I have done absolutely nothing with my life these last few years - I feel like I am in exactly the same place I was three years ago and nothing has been gained. It's like standing on a precipice, part of you wants to just let go, take the plunge and run with it - but then there's always a part that's clinging on, afraid of what change is, afraid to let the barriers down and open up, needing that small clutch on whatever sanity you can grasp onto.

Should the end of the year make me question every little thing out there - or should I see it as a new year, new opportunities? New beginnings? Who knows, I certainly don't have the answer....but one day, I like to think I have enough faith and positiveness to figure it out. One thing is for sure - I can already hear the bongs of Big Ben chiming in 2012, and it will soon be time to dust off my sparkly little sandals to shimmy in the new dawn.

Viva La Espana!

It's been an interesting week, lots of ups and downs - a few laughs, a few tears, lots of boredom and an ever annoying flatmate, but on the plus side - it's Friday. My god what a slow week this has been, I have never known time to drag so literally.

Alas - it seems all is not bad and I may still be able to put my personal world to rights. At the start of every year I always set myself goals to work towards in the coming year, some get achieved and others don't. But this year has been absolutely dismal. Time just seems to have vanished - next week we shall be in September and it has felt recently that 2011 has well and truly been a wash out of a year.

But I had a little ray of light this week. One of my goals this year was to get back into studying and brush up on my Spanish, which has virtually all but been forgotten since I left school. After a lunch meeting with my boss on Tuesday, it has been suggested that it would be good to get the office involved in learning a language seeing as we are an international company and has put forward the Spanish language for starters.

I know it sounds quite sad and I do confess I am a bit of a geek, but I'm actually quite excited about learning something new. I think it will be good to focus on something positive and to see out the rest of the year at least part way towards one of my goals.

What can I say....Viva la Espana!!! Lets just hope it gets off the ground soon.

Farewell Desk Buddy....

I am still in a state of shock at the unfolding of my day. What started as a rather pleasant Friday morning, the usual banter with my partner in crime, happy in the thought that almost over half the office will be on holiday next week....then carnage has struck this afternoon.

Well, not quite. I am exagerating, but I have just found out they are re-arranging our commercial team and I am being paired with the bunny - amptly nick-named because she is a bunny boiler, in every sense of the word. At least I won't be alone, I shall have another colleague to try and help keep me sane, but still....I pre-warn you I can't not be held accountable for my actions.

I shall miss my current desk buddy, I'm always guaranteed a laugh or three everyday with our banter and jokes - even getting a dressing down on one occasion when I just couldn't stop laughing, resulting in some rather strange looks from the rest of the office. The Beavis to my Butthead is being replaced by a somewhat unhinged character - which is the mild way of saying, quite frankly - that she's nuts! I can't help but hear the 'Psycho' theme tune whenever I turn round and she is just staring...smiling...as you do.

I think Miss S and I shall have to dig deep to find new ways of having some fun in the office, to break up the monotmous routine that is office life. Oh lord, why can life never be simple? I reckon I should get that straight jacket ordered now for when they cart me away in a week or two.

Generation Undecided

I read a very intersting article coming home on the train today about the generation undecided. Apparently, according to research, women born between 1977 - 2004 have been raised under a 'you can have it all!' generation. We're struggling to cope with subsequent pressure & expectations put upon us - thus meaning that we are never truely happy with what we've got and are constantly fretting over whether we've got what we really want and feeling like we're missing out on something.

Whilst I don't think I'm anywhere near as extreme as the girls in this article, I can relate to certain aspects of what it is saying. You get so bogged down worrying and trying to plan for the next step in life and looking to the future that you never concentrate on the here and now, and what it is you've actually achieved to date.

Maybe this is where I am going wrong. Instead of constantly worrying about whether I'm making the right decisions, I should be asking myself 'am I content?' and just enjoy the here and now, finding comfort in my surroundings and everyday life.

Maybe this is really what life is about - enjoying each day as a gift that you make your own. So, I am going to take note on all the things that I do like about my life and take each day as it comes, focusing on the things that make me happy. Who knows, it could even work on straightening out the contents in my head.....bring on the new age of generation decided! Or at least getting-there-decided.....!

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I Predict A Riot......

So, after a week of rioting it appears we are finally getting some order back on the streets and cleaning up the now somewhat wrecked Capital, from mindless acts of vandalism.

You can't help but speculate on how we got to this - is it really out of frustration of not being listened to, not taken seriously and constantly preached down to with no prospects? Or do the youth of today really not have a conscience, thus resulting in them not giving a shit what they do and who they do it to.

I can't help but look back on my life when I was growing up and dealing with different feelings and emotions I had. At 18, you certainly feel like you know everything and scoff at anyone who tells you otherwise - but it's only when you get older you realise that actually - you didn't. Even now, I look back and realise how naive you can be growing up, especially trying to deal with teenage hormones. I think it's only when you get older you realise you still have lots to learn from life, you just learn to be a bit more cautious rather than crashing head first into everything.

One thing I have learnt is that being passive really does not get you anywhere. Whilst I don't condone the acts of violence going on this week in any way at all, I also believe that if you try to be polite and air your views in a peaceful way you get talked over, brushed aside and nothing ever comes of it. These last couple of years I've realised that if you try to be a nice person, do the right thing and always be polite to be people, it really doesn't count for anything. People think they can treat you however they want, talk to you however they please and think they can get away with it because you never shout back and would rather opt for the quiet life of forgiveness than confrontation.

I know I am never going to be one of these people that argues back, or be rude to people in retaliation, because at the end of the day I do care what other people think of me. But, I am getting to the point now where I don't get upset by people's actions anymore and I am more than happy to turn my back and walk away if I don't think someone deserves to be in my life.

Who knows if there is a right or wrong way to deal with controversy, or if it is just down to individuals to decide what works best for themselves. But there really is no need for mindless acts of violence to get your point across, no matter how bad things are. A bit of self-pride and respect for others could be a lesson learned for many people out there in the world today.