Hanging up my runners.....

So, the big day finally came round, my 10k run around Battersea Park. A mere stones throw for some people, but what felt like a mountain to me!

It's fair to say I wasn't at my fittest and my training schedule most certainly didn't go to plan, but I was most proud of the fact that I didn't stop once and kept a steady pace for the whole run, completing it in a somewhat reasonable 1hr 6 minutes. The last 2.5k was certainly hard going and it would have been so easy to give up and walk the last stretch, owing to the fact my leg felt like it was on fire and my knee had well and truly swollen. But like a trooper (albeit slightly insane one) I carried on and pushed myself over the finish line. It was a bit disheartening seeing all the other girls speed up and sprint over the finish line, whereas I could just about drag my sorry arse there, but I made the effort knowing it is going to be my last run for a very long time.

As of today, owing to a promise I made to a very wise and somewhat worried friend of mine, I have promised not to do anymore running until my knee has well and truly healed up - or at least until after my holiday. Seeing the pain I have been in, knowing she is the only one I have admitted it to, putting on a 'it'll be fine' face to everyone else, she has a document from myself that I was forced to sign, promising to hang up my running shoes until I am 100% well and fit again.

I do feel a bit sad at having to give up one of my loves in life, but if I'm true to myself I've not really been enjoying it that much since injuring my knee, the pain out masking the fun of it. So I do agree it is time I stop kidding myself and face up to the fact I need to focus on something else for the time being.

Now, the fun begins with finding something else to do. I never said I would give up exercise altogether, as lord knows that would never happen, but I'm sure I can stumble across something else I can enjoy for the time being....you never know, maybe an extreme sport or hobby could be the way forward! I've always fancied abit of monster trucking or sky diving..........

Patience Is A Virtue

As the good old saying goes, 'Patience is a virtue'. I am vast coming round to the notion that this really doesn't apply to me and whoever came up with such a stupid proverb deserves a hardy clip round the head.

Seriously, patience is not a virtue - not when you've been holed up for the past month incapacitated by a dodgy knee, itching to get back out into the world of self punishment, aka, exercise! Now the weather is getting nicer, I am tortured everywhere I go of super fit people out jogging, or cycling or just plain walking.

I want to join in so badly, I actually think I am getting adrenalin withdrawal symptoms. My muscles feel like jelly and it is getting to the point where I may have to start breathing in to get my button done up soon, how shameful. As much as I am ready to go, my knee is still saying no. It is not fun when your walking along and you have a hot pain flaring up into your thigh, or when all of a sudden your knee just buckles underneath you out of protest. The latter option is also rather uncool when you've stopped at a traffic light and end up landing yourself propped against the person next to you. This is when you hope a cheesy 'sorry' smile and fluttered eyelashes will stop them shouting abuse at you.......oh dear!

It feels like this last week has been going backwards since I had my MRI scan, waiting for the results to say 'yay' or 'nay'. The worst thing of all is knowing that even when I get the results, even if there is nothing fundamentally wrong, it will still take at least another 3-4 weeks to be able to do some serious damage control and regain a certain amount of flexibility and staminer.

Hopefully soon I shall get the answer I want, then this lard arse will be a depressed chubby couch potato no more. Oh, woe is me! In the words of Marjory at fat fighters club, "Dust anyone?!"

Push It Real Good...

I have finally bitten the bullet and decided to put my arse into gear to get fit, healthy - and lose some weight for the summer sun.

Having shied away from strenuous exercise after collapsing at work a few years ago, I took the doctors orders literally by doing 'less taxing sports' which won't cause my chest to seize up - and to be quite frank, I have been totally bored using it as an excuse to feel sorry for myself.

There is no excuse - I don't believe in 'can't do' attitudes and a friends recent stint in doing a half marathon has finally given me the wake up call I need to stop being scared and milling around the fact that I have just become plain lazy.

I'm afraid to say I haven't quite signed up for a half marathon, but I have signed up for a 10k run instead. I figure I should at least try and break myself in gently before doing myself any serious damage - or looking like someone on steroids with pumping muscles from too much running!

For the last six weeks I have been gradually building up and I had got to a comfortable 5k when last week I decided to join The Boutique run with Katherine and go for a challenge, thus being the 10k.

I have til the 9th July to build up and double my running length. This shouldn't be that hard surely? I feel this may well be my famous last words....

I did a practise run Sunday afternoon and managed to push myself and do a nice 7k - I was extremely tired when I got back but well chuffed with myself for running that far. My only main problem was my knee, getting pain down the outside whilst running.

To combat this, I thought I would invest in a knee support and test-drove this on Tuesday evening when I got home from work and it made a huge difference. I had a few twinges in my chest but when I woke up Wednesday morning I felt fine.

After all these years you would think I would learn to listen to my body, but no. I decided to go for another run this morning, hell bent on keeping up the momentum and new found 'spring' in my step. The run itself wasn't that bad - I got up at 5am so there was no one about, there was a nice chill in the air keeping me cool and I had the added bonus of seeing the sunrise whilst half way round my circuit.

The problem came when I had about a mile left to run - I started getting pain build up in my other knee and then felt my chest getting really tight. I was determined to finish the run and made it back in one piece - but my god was I in pain! My knee had swollen and looks like it has fluid built up around it, my chest felt like it was in a vice and when I sat on the floor to stretch out my thighs I felt my spine crack in two places I didn't even know existed.

I know they say no pain no gain - but is it really meant to be this painful?! I feel I need to stop being so stubborn and take a step back, building it up gradually. But it seems what the body says and what my head says are two completely different things! I shall definitely need to get them in synch before July, can you imagine how embarrassing would that be flaking out in front of a whole parade of people....!!!

Fitness Guru....or health freak?

This seems to be the lively topic of debate floating around my office at the moment, involving my fitness regime. Am I becoming some type of fitness guru, getting up at 5:30 am to do my exercises - or am I becoming a health freak and should be lazing in my bed as suggested by one certain colleague?

I don't think I'm that extreme - I'm focused on how much weight I want to loose and what areas I want to tone up - but I don't feel I go overboard. You'd never catch me doing a 26 mile marathon and putting myself through un-necessary duress and I don't get up every single morning to work out and then put myself on a really strict diet.

I like to think I have the balance right - exercise two-three times a week - then go down the pub two to three times a week to even it out! That's what it's all about, right?! Cancelling out the bad with the good.....no, only kidding - kind of....

My thoughts are that if I'm already in an insomnia-induced semi-awake conscious state, I may as well make the most of the morning and waken myself up fully. I know they say no pain, no gain, but the longer you exercise the easier it becomes. For me it's more the thought of getting up, than actually doing the exercise that causes me pain. I do actually really enjoying it once I'm out running or doing my kick boxing or pumps etc... and I can notice a big difference now to say two months ago. I can now do a 5k run without hobbling round like an old lady for two days afterwards, my knees no longer ache and when I cool down afterwards I can now actually reach my ankles - hurrah! That in itself is a life time achievement!

So, in answer to my colleagues question - fitness guru or health freak? I say neither, I'm just someone who's slightly insane and trying to stave of a jelly belly in my old age.....