Drum roll please......it's a new dawn, on a new day, in a new year with new resolutions - fast forward 6 weeks and is 2011 full of the joys of wonder that I thought it would be? Or is 2011 just the same as 2010?
I'm afraid I would have to say the latter.....the only thing I have learnt is that I really don't know where the last six weeks have gone and it appears that if time keeps flying the way it is, I will soon be sipping egg nogs & tucking into turkey again.
I can feel the dreaded itch coming on again and fear this one is going to be a big one. Every now and then I go through periods where I feel like my life has stagnated and it seems to be losing it's added sparkle. I try to keep upbeat and look for at least one good thing in every day - but sometimes you can't help but reflect back and think - was that it? I'm sure I was not put on this earth to sit at a desk 9 - 5 bored out of my skull constantly wishing my life away.
I am coming to that all important point in life where I have reached a cross roads and something seriously needs to change before the twinkle disappears forever and I am sucked down into the monotonous routine that is otherwise known as the 'rat-race'.
The thoughts going through my mind at the moment will see me heading in one of two directions. I can either flick the indicator right and go for something completely different - this option I envisage all my personal items sold apart from a few essentials in a back pack, heading into the big wide yonder to do some serious travelling, to just disappear from all that is every day life. Or I can listen to the voice of reason and head left - thus finding a job that will give me both enjoyment and fulfill my ever growing thirst for knowledge and help me progress in my career (or to be more realistic to actually start a career!)
I feel like I'm stuck in the middle - where on my left is the angel with halo, telling me to hang on and be reasonable - yet on the right is a mini me in devil get-up telling me to let my inner mischievousness free and go make the most of what is out there.
I'm guessing the hardest thing is that I don't actually know what I want myself - and if I don't know then who the hell will? Does anybody go through life knowing exactly what they want? Or are we all fumbling around in the dark completely clueless as am I?
I think I need to give this some serious thought. I'm guessing the first option would make me feel good in the short run - but what if I never want to return? This scares the hell out of me as I fear this would actually happen if I left, whereas at the same time I don't know if I really have the balls to go through with this or if it is all just a fantasy. Another thought is this could be the pre-onset of a mid life crisis as in the oh-my-god-I'm-almost-thirty-and-what-have-I-done-with-my-life crisis.
Lets watch this space and see what happens, maybe I'm due my miracle any day now.......!
