The grass is always greener on the other side - how very true this saying is. It's funny how you spend most of your life wishing for things to change, thinking that certain things need to be achieved by a certain time in your life. Yet, when you stop, stand still and really focus on what it is you do have there's nothing actually wrong with how things are. You come to realise that there isn't actually a blue print that comes with life - it just is and you trundle along finding your own path in your own way.
For about the last six months I have been dreading the thought of turning 30. It is very much like a precipice between being young and fun - and getting old. I have stead fastedly refused to celebrate my getting old as I haven't really seen it as something to warrant having a good old knees up for. I'm constantly being asked when I'm going to stop going out so much and settle down, why don't I have a boyfriend, why aren't I married, do I not want kids? Because, you know, time is ticking on.....and it really makes you doubt yourself when you hear it from so many people.
For the last year, I have been looking around at my friends and I think I really am the last single woman standing. All my friends were starting to talk about having babies, starting families and I was left thinking 'oh my god, what is wrong with me? why aren't I at that same stage yet that everyone else seems to be at?'
But now the big 3-0 is just over a month away, I can't help but feel oddly settled and am coming to the realisation that actually, I'm not old, and I can still have fun. Whilst I haven't met Mr Right yet - it really doesn't matter. I have so much other good things in my life - I have my family, lots of friends, my own house, my own car, I can plan things last minute and go travelling and can pay my own way in life.
But the thing I find most amusing is now alot of my friends have passed the big milestone age bracket, there a vast few of them who have actually decided why rush into a family? The same people who in their late twenties were consumed with starting a family, are now quite happy to hold onto their youth and carry on just the way they are.
It is amazing what a bit of peer pressure can do to you without you even realising it. Until that day comes when I do meet Mr Right and find that someone who makes me giving up my single life justifiable, I shall just keep on having fun and finding more paths and avenues to explore.
