Viva La Espana!

It's been an interesting week, lots of ups and downs - a few laughs, a few tears, lots of boredom and an ever annoying flatmate, but on the plus side - it's Friday. My god what a slow week this has been, I have never known time to drag so literally.

Alas - it seems all is not bad and I may still be able to put my personal world to rights. At the start of every year I always set myself goals to work towards in the coming year, some get achieved and others don't. But this year has been absolutely dismal. Time just seems to have vanished - next week we shall be in September and it has felt recently that 2011 has well and truly been a wash out of a year.

But I had a little ray of light this week. One of my goals this year was to get back into studying and brush up on my Spanish, which has virtually all but been forgotten since I left school. After a lunch meeting with my boss on Tuesday, it has been suggested that it would be good to get the office involved in learning a language seeing as we are an international company and has put forward the Spanish language for starters.

I know it sounds quite sad and I do confess I am a bit of a geek, but I'm actually quite excited about learning something new. I think it will be good to focus on something positive and to see out the rest of the year at least part way towards one of my goals.

What can I say....Viva la Espana!!! Lets just hope it gets off the ground soon.

Farewell Desk Buddy....

I am still in a state of shock at the unfolding of my day. What started as a rather pleasant Friday morning, the usual banter with my partner in crime, happy in the thought that almost over half the office will be on holiday next week....then carnage has struck this afternoon.

Well, not quite. I am exagerating, but I have just found out they are re-arranging our commercial team and I am being paired with the bunny - amptly nick-named because she is a bunny boiler, in every sense of the word. At least I won't be alone, I shall have another colleague to try and help keep me sane, but still....I pre-warn you I can't not be held accountable for my actions.

I shall miss my current desk buddy, I'm always guaranteed a laugh or three everyday with our banter and jokes - even getting a dressing down on one occasion when I just couldn't stop laughing, resulting in some rather strange looks from the rest of the office. The Beavis to my Butthead is being replaced by a somewhat unhinged character - which is the mild way of saying, quite frankly - that she's nuts! I can't help but hear the 'Psycho' theme tune whenever I turn round and she is just staring...smiling...as you do.

I think Miss S and I shall have to dig deep to find new ways of having some fun in the office, to break up the monotmous routine that is office life. Oh lord, why can life never be simple? I reckon I should get that straight jacket ordered now for when they cart me away in a week or two.

Generation Undecided

I read a very intersting article coming home on the train today about the generation undecided. Apparently, according to research, women born between 1977 - 2004 have been raised under a 'you can have it all!' generation. We're struggling to cope with subsequent pressure & expectations put upon us - thus meaning that we are never truely happy with what we've got and are constantly fretting over whether we've got what we really want and feeling like we're missing out on something.

Whilst I don't think I'm anywhere near as extreme as the girls in this article, I can relate to certain aspects of what it is saying. You get so bogged down worrying and trying to plan for the next step in life and looking to the future that you never concentrate on the here and now, and what it is you've actually achieved to date.

Maybe this is where I am going wrong. Instead of constantly worrying about whether I'm making the right decisions, I should be asking myself 'am I content?' and just enjoy the here and now, finding comfort in my surroundings and everyday life.

Maybe this is really what life is about - enjoying each day as a gift that you make your own. So, I am going to take note on all the things that I do like about my life and take each day as it comes, focusing on the things that make me happy. Who knows, it could even work on straightening out the contents in my head.....bring on the new age of generation decided! Or at least getting-there-decided.....!

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I Predict A Riot......

So, after a week of rioting it appears we are finally getting some order back on the streets and cleaning up the now somewhat wrecked Capital, from mindless acts of vandalism.

You can't help but speculate on how we got to this - is it really out of frustration of not being listened to, not taken seriously and constantly preached down to with no prospects? Or do the youth of today really not have a conscience, thus resulting in them not giving a shit what they do and who they do it to.

I can't help but look back on my life when I was growing up and dealing with different feelings and emotions I had. At 18, you certainly feel like you know everything and scoff at anyone who tells you otherwise - but it's only when you get older you realise that actually - you didn't. Even now, I look back and realise how naive you can be growing up, especially trying to deal with teenage hormones. I think it's only when you get older you realise you still have lots to learn from life, you just learn to be a bit more cautious rather than crashing head first into everything.

One thing I have learnt is that being passive really does not get you anywhere. Whilst I don't condone the acts of violence going on this week in any way at all, I also believe that if you try to be polite and air your views in a peaceful way you get talked over, brushed aside and nothing ever comes of it. These last couple of years I've realised that if you try to be a nice person, do the right thing and always be polite to be people, it really doesn't count for anything. People think they can treat you however they want, talk to you however they please and think they can get away with it because you never shout back and would rather opt for the quiet life of forgiveness than confrontation.

I know I am never going to be one of these people that argues back, or be rude to people in retaliation, because at the end of the day I do care what other people think of me. But, I am getting to the point now where I don't get upset by people's actions anymore and I am more than happy to turn my back and walk away if I don't think someone deserves to be in my life.

Who knows if there is a right or wrong way to deal with controversy, or if it is just down to individuals to decide what works best for themselves. But there really is no need for mindless acts of violence to get your point across, no matter how bad things are. A bit of self-pride and respect for others could be a lesson learned for many people out there in the world today.

How time flys

I cannot believe we are already in August, I honestly do not know where the last 7 months have gone. Just think, another 4 months to go then we will be in 2012. How scary is that?

I always think back to when I was younger, hearing my mum saying, 'I just don't know where the time goes...' thinking what is she on about? When your eight years old and running riot with your friends, riding your bike and climbing trees, I guess time really is of no importance when have no responsibilities - therefore you just carry on the fun and do the exact same thing the next day too.

I can't help but feel this year is abit of a wash out. What have I actually achieved? Granted I'm no worse off than last year, but I don't really seem any further forward either. I feel like the last few months have been like that film Ground Hog Day, where you're re-living the same thing over and over. Get up, work, go home, sleep, get up, work etc...pay the bills, realise how skint you are then count down to the next payday.

Am I just being over-zealous, wishing for a better life that really doesn't exist? Is this what it is really all about, slogging away until you reach the pristine age of retirement, before realising that the very essence of life is just that?

I guess I could always become the town's spinster when I get older, spying down on the neighbours, surrounded by a pack of cats for company.

Oh well, on the bright side - it will soon be time again to deck my halls with bells and holly - oh great!!